it's hurt even more

I am frustrated. okay, maybe this is not the end of the world. But, for me my future is like very dark. I feel like there's no future for me. I now think that I can;t reach my dream. I feel like living without any purpose. I hate this feeling. I am so jealous thinking about the others who are busy making those preparation to go to uni. And I am at home, hopeless. :( I hate the idea of being left behind. I hate it when I don't have what they have. I hate it when I don't get what I dream of.

Huh.. Being so upset for what happened. Everything doesn't go well. As I wish, I want to continue studying. Okay, maybe it doesn't matter if I were going to study at private uni. But still, I don't like the idea of studying there. Don't ask me why. Being rejected by the public uni just hurt me so much.

Because of the depression, I've been eating a lot today. Yes, I eat when I am sad. I know, it's not good for my diet plans. Sia-sia je senamrobik then makan x ingat dunia.. I think by eating, I can forget anything. No, I can't forget it. The thing will come to me over and over again. I will feel very frustrated. I hate it! I dreamed of me going to the uni. By the way, for public uni, the registration is next week if I am not mistaken. Oh, if I have any offer from public uni, I will be busy now. :(

In fact, my parents paid to the UniKl to show them that I accepted their offer. Yes, I repeat ACCEPTED. Most probably I will become their student if the rayuan tidak diterima. How pathetic! That is so not my dream. I can't help it. I think that maybe what happened in KML will happen again. Macam.. If x ikhlas, it won't turn out well. I agree with that. Because I've been trough it. :(

I hope, there is still a chance..