Thursday, July 3, 2008

I am broke, seriously

I actually wrote typed this on 1345hrs today. Well, using my hand phone la. Just, something that came up to my mind..

As I told you guys, I am not going to UniKL. Which, if I am going, I'll be leaving tomorrow. But, as the plan changed, I am still in Kuching, happily! Haha.. My friends are leaving tomorrow.. *sob *sob

Too bad. I am not going. Bad isn't? Huh.. I myself doesn't really understand what kind of feeling that I feel right now. When I am thinking about the advantage of the choice I made, or shall I say, the risk that I took, I relieved. But, when I think about things that I am going to miss, I do feel like shit!

Well, being away from family is tough. But, the experience is more valuable.. It is? Well, at least for me it is.. Hurm.. But if I am being here, at home, if there's anything happen to my family, I will be there. Or, if there's any occasion, I am not going to missed it! Yeah, at least. Well, at least it isn't bad... Right?

But, there's something bad for me as I will be home until god-knows-when, I tend to be not good with people at home. People that I am going to see everyday. Shall I say, I might be get bored? Well, maybe I am going to get bored or it just something.. I don't know why. But, I think I tend to be hating them. Yes, don't ask me why. I know it's weird. Because, it's my nature?

For example, when I am back for holidays (back to the matriculation year).. It feels good to see my sis. At least, we can share a bedroom. Now, as I've been home for quite some time.. We often fight. Now, we don't share bedroom anymore. There's some kind of uncomfortable feeling. I am not saying that I hate her. But, I don't feel comfortable. Maybe that's the right word.

Isn't weird? I think I am.. People get closer when they get together, when they see each other more. But for me, it's vice versa. That's is why I am afraid when I am thinking that I will have a big chance to be at home. It's nice to feel homey.. But, god-knows-why...

Do I have any disease?

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