life

I realize that life is JUST a drama. A drama that have we as the actor and actress. As we know, we play the main role in our own life. I can say that I am tired of acting in my drama. No, I am not end my drama, yet. But, can I stop acting? I am not interested in any drama. Life.

I hate the fact that we have to act to make people feels comfortable with us. I hate that we have to act to have what we want. I hate to realize that everyone is playing their own role successfully but I am not. I hate to know that I wanted to change my role.

Can I?

I love my life, yes. But, reality check, life is somehow fake. A lil bit of anything is somehow fake. Smile on my face doesn't come from my heart. Not every each smile but maybe some of it. I smile to make people think I am happy. I am saying that I am happy because I am being fake. Because I am not the person who will tell everyone that I am happy or, sad.

I didn't say it out loud to someone's face when I hate her/him. I am not that stupid. Yes, I am fake. But, I am trying to live my life. That's why I need to be fake. I know not everyone I know loves me. Some only fake to love me. I realize that. Sorry that your acting is not that good to make me not knowing.

Maybe some will realize that I am fake also. Yeah, I know. I like to express my feeling with my actions. No word required. I feel more comfortable that way. I don't have to say I hate you, but you should understand by my actions. But, it doesn't mean that I REALLY HATE YOU TO DEATH.

I just somehow feel uncomfortable. Well, I am an super ordinary human being. So, I do have feelings, I do feel sad, I do feel jealous and I DO MAKE MISTAKE. So, don't you done all that too?

I just.. Beg you guys to stop the drama. Por favor..

p.s this entry is not dedicated to ant specific people. Just, randomly?